Monday, April 27, 2009

When to Make the "Announcement"

If you knew me as a child, then you probably remember that I was constantly changing my mind. Strangely, as an adult, my friends have told me, "When you say you're going to do something, you do it." I was shocked the first time I heard this. I am still teased by my close family for my notorious reversal of decisions. I have taught myself in the last seven years to only make a big announcement when your mind is made up. This trick works, and leads people to believe that I am a "go getter."

When I decided to train for a marathon, it was a private decision. It wasn't until I read a book or two, joined a training website, and actually started to train, that I knew I was going to complete this race. I also had to choose which marathon to run. After carefully researching which climates would be best in the next five months, (this was the time I needed to train), and what would be close to my family, I chose Columbus. Remember, I lived in Boston at the time. When I knew for sure, I sent an e-mail to my family and friends, letting them know that I would be running the Columbus Marathon on October 18th. Presenting this news meant I had to do it.

Because of my ever-changing mind, I only gave six days notice when I decided to move from Cleveland to Madison. You probably know that I had been thinking about the move for a long time. Some days, I thought, "I will be stuck in Cleveland forever," and other days, I was so wanting to get in the car and move. Few people knew that I was imagining life in Madison. Those who did, knew it for quite some time.

My reasoning is simple. If you start to tell people what you are going to do all of the time, and never act on it, you start to feel a sense of failure. When I went through the list of clients, family, co-workers, and friends, letting them know that I was moving that Saturday, I explained, "This is the way I do things. When I am done, I am done." There are a lot of people I know who have talked about that "move" they are going to do for years now, and I never see them going anywhere. I don't want to be like that. I can't stand when someone says they are "retiring in May" and they never retire. Or even when someone says they are having you for dinner on Saturday. Then they call you that morning to tell you they are "too tired - let's go out instead." Unreliable.

Here are examples of the things you will never hear me say:

"He's the One."

"I can't wait to have kids."

"I am staying here forever."

"I am getting a second dog."

You may here me say:

"I am not staying here, and I am moving in three days."

"I got a second dog."

"I got hitched." (Winston-Style)

I recommend that you only make that "announcement" when the decision is made and the deal is sealed. For someone like myself, who is so open, my conclusions are private until the verdict is 100%.

So when do you make the announcement, you ask? After you sign the papers. This doesn't mean that I approve of someone close to me telling me that they are pregnant by greeting me with a huge belly... Just after the first trimester. There is a difference.

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