Monday, March 29, 2010

Random Acts of Kindness

I liked Madison for a lot of reasons before I moved here. As I walked around the square this afternoon, I remembered the most enticing thing about the city - the outdoor activity and respect that outdoorspeople receive. Unlike any other U.S. city I have seen, bikers were kindly being dodged by traffic at a busy corner.

I walked to a law firm to drop something off. I didn't feel like tying my dog up. A stranger offered to stay with her and watch her while I went into the building. I kindly asked the building's security guard to make sure the stranger didn't steal my dog. (I don't know why he would. He would have given me a ransom and returned her..) I felt safe about the whole thing. I knew before I left my house that I could have a stranger watch her, if need be.

Walking back, so many people complimented by "pretty dog." If you passed me, you would have thought I was walking with a friend the way an unidentified woman walked with me and talked about what a great dog a golden retriever is.

And a few weeks ago, as I sat at the bar a block away with a book and tears streaming down my face, a stranger approached me and asked me if I was ok. She gave me a hug and offered support.

Sometimes I can be private and sometimes quite public (like on here). It's nice to know I am never alone, if I feel the need to lay a shoulder on a random stranger. Madison locals are your friends. And I am touched by them.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

My Life

It's very difficult to blog and not get personal about the intricate details. I have had a very interesting past few months. Someone told me today, "You do things that people dream of doing, but never actually do them." I was lied to in one of the worst ways. Discovered embezzlement. Was stuck between a rock and a hard place. Consulted with my boyfriend's ex-girlfriend. Broke up. Cried for a day. Loudly. Alone. Without wanting to see/talk with anyone. Attempted a date. Did an intake for two and a half hours. Ran into ex ahead of time. Felt badly about everything. Confusing several men. Went to an open house where I saw a hot guy I sort of know. Still wonder why more people aren't exercising and going to therapy. It is so easy to eat a minimum of five to eight raw fruits and vegetables a day, why aren't more people doing it? Behaving badly (not illegally, mind you). Wondering why more people stay in lousy relationships. Get mad at people for lying to me. Ok - just an fyi - I am not mad at all. I am sitting here smiling and looking forward to a prosperous week.

Monday, March 8, 2010

Go to Therapy, Already!

I am really mad. Because I am the one who did all the work and now I am the one who goes back for more work. Do you know I have been to about eight or nine therapists in my short lifetime? This is not because I am some demented person with an abusive past. This is because history repeats itself and I am very cautious.

For work, I met with a delusional, pathological liar, who claimed to have worked with high-profile, public figures. But their facts were all wrong. Nothing was adding up. I knew immediately that they were sick in the head. "Get some help, girl!," I wanted to yell at her. Instead, I am the one seeking help. This just doesn't add up.

And if one more person tells me, and I am quoting here, how I "Opened up their eyes," I think I am going to puke. Because this isn't my job. It is not my job to steer people towards the "Road of Help."

Do you have an issue with your parents? Do you feel the sudden need to identify with a religion? Do you belittle your loved ones (most of you who read this do and don't even know you do it). Are you obsessed with things - perhaps food/work/putting down your lover? Not over your ex? Confuse your newest break-up with your narcissistic ex? Have an inappropriate relationship with your mom/dad? Helicopter parent? Work twenty hours a day? Expect too much from yourself/others? Married your first "love?" Don't know what the hell love is? Married the first/second/third person you slept with? Dating your therapist? Dating your lover's therapist? Sleeping with many women/men? Decided you're suddenly gay? Compulsive liar? Living with an alcoholic? Dating a gambler? cohabitate with someone you don't really love but tell yourself you do? (And don't realize it)...

When I wrote that everyone needs therapy, everyone does, indeed need therapy! I am healthy. And this is because of therapy. I am not addicted to work. Or really anything. I have a healthy routine of diet and exercise. Healthy relationships and a great balance of work and life. I know how to live. I never dread where I am in life. Or how I lived my past. I don't have any regrets.

Someone sent me an e-mail about a year ago, accusing me of "not being happy" because of a lot of my postings. Wow! What a great analysis of me! You deserve an award. And, by the way. if you want to criticise me, that is what the "COMMENTS" section is for.

Am I happy? I don't have to prove that to anyone. Anyone who needs to prove that they are happy probably isn't. I am just really tired of doing the work when nobody else is. I had a friend who vented to me non-stop. For some reason, nobody wants to leave me alone with their problems. I finally gave up and said "You know, I am so sorry you are feeling this way. It sounds painful. But I am not a professional. Have you thought about going to one?" I repeated this each and every time they complained to me. Each and every time. I never changed the wording. Did they go? I don't know. I moved. We lost touch. I doubt it. They didn't sound like they wanted to change things. Some people sound very happy having their problems. There are some people who like the drama.

But most healthy individuals I know have gone to therapy at some point in life. And if you haven't gone, then I advise you to go. There have been times where I don't know what I am even going to discuss until I sit down. But there is always plenty to talk about.