Wednesday, April 1, 2009

I'm Really Not that Nosy

I love being interviewed. Clearly, I like talking about myself. But I am not a narcissist, because I enjoy hearing others talk about themselves. And one time, someone accused me of being nosy. If you know me well enough, then you know that I am not attempting to pry into your affairs. That is not what's going on. I am genuinely interested because I like to learn about people to develop all of my theories.

For example, I may ask all about your job - You work for a start-up? What are the benefits? What are your hours? How long have you worked there? Is it true...? I heard....? Of course I want to know these things. I am constantly networking. I need to put this data into my brain. And I can develop my theories on you based on your answers. So, you tell me that you are working 12 hours days? Then I start to inquire about your personal life. Do you date? Do you live alone? What's the relationship with your family? Then I can assume that you are working long hours because of family issues that you have chosen to ignore, or what have you. Then, I want to be your friend. Please note - this is exaggerated.

It all comes down to this. First, I diagnose. Then, I decide if I want you around. It's that simple. (Or that complex).

Now, I love meeting people who are interested. I also truly enjoy interesting people. And there is a difference. Those who are interested are more selfless than those who are not. Interesting people are people I find to be the opposite of plain and boring and they are typically more worldly than the average Joe. I love meeting new, interested people, because then we can interview each other. Interested people are not given enough credit. Who wants to go to an Easter dinner and not be asked a single question about their background? Then again, there are social gatherings I have gone to where I have been interrogated. Here is the difference:

1. An uninterested Person:

"I went to a new hair salon last week. He charged me $125 for a cut, and I swear all he did was move the scissors in the air."

(They don't give a damn about you. They just go on about nothing in particular)

2. An Interested Person:

" What did your sister name the baby? Is her middle name after her Grandmother?"

(I think this is a perfectly normal and nice question to ask)

3. A Nosy Person (Who may interrogate):

"So, do you have a boyfriend? Is he the one? You're very thin. How do you stay so thin? Do you eat?"

(They don't really even care half the time. Neither do they listen much for the response. They're really only asking so they can tell their friends your relationship status and whether or not you have some type of eating disorder. They obviously aren't on facebook)

Now the interrogator is also uninteresting to me, meaning their questions are superficial. Let's talk about your genealogy or how you climbed a mountain or something.

So instead of mistaking me for asking a lot of questions, know that I am very interested because I am doing my research. The data is collected and stored in my bank. It is then used in a very resourceful way at a later date. It is because of these questions that I have fixed up many couples, raised money for charities, made my own money, helped out some friends and introduced lonely people to their friends, among other things. So, I am not being nosy when I ask you the details of your failing mother/daughter relationship. I am interested. Not to be confused with interesting.....

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