Sunday, November 27, 2011

The Rules, 2011

Well 2011 is coming to a close. We are almost in the twelfth month. And with this close, I would like to blog about what I have learned in relationships - AKA - "The Rules." I have blogged about them in 2008, 2009 and 2010.

A lot has changed for me. And a lot has stayed the same. For example, I am wearing glasses I have had since 2006. And a sweatshirt I have had since 2003. Ok, enough joking around.

I feel like I have become more of the person I was since I graduated. For example, running was very important to me in 2003. But it's even more of who I am now. And I was interested in cooking back then, too. But these days, I would say I am known as a pretty great cook. Even more so in the past few months. As we get older, we grow more into ourselves. A grumpy thirty year old is going to be a NASTY fifty year old. Just remember that.

And so, we move onto..... My rules:

1) I believe this was about not living in the same state as your parents or your partner's parents. Here is what I learned about this that makes a VERY large impact on your entire relationship. I love not feeling like we have to check in with our folks. However, if I had to change rule number one, I would definitely change it to: He must get along with his parents and enjoy them. He must have no conflicts with his parents. This is first and foremost. If he enjoys his parents, his ENTIRE baggage is very, very tidy - if at all existent. And so, I enjoy that our parents are far away. And I love that we both appreciate and love them dearly.

2) No Marriages. I still agree that a starter marriage is totally cool. As long as he doesn't have some ex who he doesn't get along with or has access baggage with, I am totally down with a starter marriage. It's practice for the real thing.

3) I am stuck on no kids. First of all, I don't know if I want them. I don't want a man who has them. I made the mistake of waiting until the end of the date to ask Tattoo Boy if he had any. [he doesn't]. It is something you need to ask at my age. Kids are cute. So are puppies and I don't even miss those. No kids. Thank you.

4) Friends are first.... Hmmmm.... I have a lot of them. I have really great friends. I have to say, I am so lucky. I hope they will tell you I put them first, but I would have to ask them. Ladies, please comment here!

5) Don't Allow Men to do Manly Things for You... You know how I was single for one month and one day? It's not because I am "dependent." In fact, I would think I am the opposite. I do a lot on my own. And as of late, I really can't think of any handy work I had my man friend do. I hang my own pictures, I move my furniture, I fix things. I am woman!

6) I fully believe a workaholic is no good. Still. I will always stick to this rule. Anything with the word "holic" at the end is bad news.

7) Same Age. I still believe..... Yes - date someone in your generation. The energy/vibes/aging process remains consistent with yours. I can't relate to someone who still gets drunk at 9 AM, as they wouldn't be able to relate to someone who wants to listen to hours of NPR.

8) Yes - your ideal day needs to match. If you don't have the same interest in how you would spend a day together, you do not have the same interests. I am very active and do not like sitting around. Fortunately for me, my man is one of the top runners in town. He has motivated me to become faster. We love exercise, take work seriously and love to blog/social media. We also love "working the room" together, meeting new people, cooking/eating, being outdoors, etc. So important!

9) I added the one about being attractive. You really need to be attracted to your partner. This is so true. Forget a fat slob. He's gotta care for himself. And you need to find him cute.

Monday, November 21, 2011

Fit & Fabulous

Call me crazy, but I want to know what it feels like to get into the shower without being sore. Or sweaty. Or physically challenged for that matter. Actually, I wouldn't want to know. I would be slightly disgusted with myself. I am not Joan Benoit. But I like to workout. I am a runner. And I can't imagine getting into the shower, day after day, without a workout. How do you do it? Doesn't it feel gross? Imagine how much more you could do. The energy you would have. The food you could energize with.

Now that I have lived in Madison for over three years, I am no longer impressed with the amount of outdoor activity. I want to know why more people aren't involved. I can't relate to just waking up and getting in the shower and getting dressed. That sounds gross to me. How do you do it?

I recently read an article in the "Times" about begginer runners. They wanted to know what podcast was motivating people to run. And I realize that it's not normal - this need to run every morning [well, six days a week, anyway]. Most people need an accountability partner. Or they sleep in their running clothes. Or they attend a "weigh in." There is something that makes them get up and go running. For me, it's just part of who I am. One day at work, someone asked me, "Did you go running this morning?" And I was appalled. "Did you brush your teeth this morning?" I wanted to ask them. If you see me at work, I have gone running. If I have the stomach flu, I have not gone running. Otherwise, I run. I have become even more strict as I have gotten older. And I have become faster. "I don't have enough time." is a completely unexucusable truth - you are telling me "It's not a priority." And you know what? It's not for a lot of people.

So besides doing it for yourself, be healthy for your kids. I notice a ton of people who are obese. NPR just published an article stating that the american population is becoming more and more obese. And I have a real problem with people who aren't eating real food. I am currently finishing my dinner of all natural-local-tortellini, organic kale and organic mushroom sauteed in garlic. Does your meal have color? I am not better than you. I may be healthier, that's all. You're probably cooler than me.

I am not saying I am superior. But the next person who tells me while they are eating their "Wonder bread" [which isn't even real bread, mind you] that my sauteed, locally grown onions "look gross" can suck it.