Sunday, February 7, 2010

Does Having Kids Make You Lose Your Sense of Self?

After noticing on facebook that too many people use their child's photo as their profile picture, I have had enough. Is this you? Or is this your child? I am confused. I know you think they are the cutest production of all time. But, you are still you, aren't you?

And now I see that people are posting their pregnancy tests on facebook. They are actually uploading the positive pregnancy test photo. What has social media come to?

I get all my juice on facebook. I don't need to have any conversations with my girlfriends on if they had their baby or what they named it. I can see it all online.

But a profile picture is supposed to be you. I know some people sometimes have their spouse in it. Or a nice landscape. That's ok with me. And I don't disagree or think it's wrong to have a funny photo or a huge cartoon of Bart Simpson. And as I am doing my research for this posting (yes, I actually make sure I am accurate on here), I totally missed doppelganger week on facebook. I have been told I look like a lot of people. But, let's be real here. I am going to go with Anne Frank on this one. There. Done!

So what happens to a young adult when they have a child? Besides the fact that their whole life can change. No more late nights at a bar, stopping for "one more" on your walk home and having a slice of pizza. Sleeping until 9 or so. Out the door with five minutes notice to meet a friend. Yes, everything changes. But I certainly wouldn't want to lose my sense of self along the way.

It appears when parents use their child's photo on facebook that they are losing a little bit of their own identity. Would you turn in a resume and put your child's name next to yours? And their e-mail address, too? Is this is a "two for one?" If I have you, I have to have your kid, too?

Or maybe, people who do this feel a stronger identity as a parent. And must identify with that now. It makes them feel meaningful. Which is sad. I am curious on your thoughts on this one.

1 comment:

  1. Hey Janie! I'm one of those people of whom you speak. V. is my FB profile pic because (1) no one's really taking pics of me anymore and (b) she's a lot more photogenic than I am. Also, don't really want people from my past that may potentially be FB stalking me seeing my picture, I'd rather they see that I have a kid (and may infer that I'm married as well).

    But now that I think of it, I think the biggest reason for the kid pic is the fact that the vast majority of my friends and family on FB would rather see a new pic of V. than one of me (note: most of my non-family FB friends are married with kids themselves). And really, it's just Facebook--definitely more casual than a résumé.

    I'm sure there are plenty of people (ok, women) that feel they are defined by their status as a mother and post their kids' pics to reflect that. I'm driven more crazy by women that have email addresses along the lines of or