Just recently, I somehow went from being at the adult table for ten plus years to the "kids table" in a matter of months. Which is fine by me. You know, you wait all of those years to sit with the older kids. The "cool" kids, And then you finally get there. And you hang out with them at every funeral, wedding and holiday. And then suddenly, I am looking around the little table. And I am sitting across from a twelve year old. A seventh grader. "How did I get here?" I ask myself.
I'll tell you how I got there. I went from dating a guy nearly twenty years my senior to dating someone my age. That's all that happened. It's plain and simple, you see. And it works because I can act like a young twenty-something year old if I have to. Like while the speech was being given, I pretended to eat the Indian Corn centerpiece - typewriter style. You really can't do that with a man in his forties and three other couples all mid-forties surrounding you.
And then texting friends and pretending to take photos of all of the tables so you can really get a current picture of your friend's ex boyfriend with assistance from your table mates probably wouldn't work with a bunch of forty somethings either. So this hanging out with the kids table business worked out pretty well.
At the last wedding, while hanging out with the kids table, I continued to rub it in their face. How I remember when they were born. And when they learned how to talk. Until they all reminded me that I tell them that every time. Then proceeded to tell me how they never got to go out with me before. Until my family demotion.
And if you're thinking about being demoted, I highly recommend it. My old table mates are now exhausted with diapers and rug rats with runny noses. And they don't know the words to the songs we are dancing to. They don't know about the Hotel Motel Holiday Inn. And my new table mates - we are planning where we are going next while the old table mates are already in dreamland.
I am loving my demotion. I am looking forward to sitting at the kids table at our next event.