Thursday, May 31, 2012

I'm Back!

Life has been happening. We got the Big C in my family. But I am not allowed to talk about that. My dog also got the Big C and she told me it's fine if I talk about it. It was the saddest day of my life so you have to assume that my life has been easy. Or something. Or maybe I am exaggerating. But her cancerous tumor was surgically removed and contained and she will be eleven in June. I am throwing her a birthday party now that she is a cancer survivor! Panic rose in me and took over my day-to-day. I got that under control and work hard on that one.

Thank God for my running. I have gotten even better and faster. Maybe I can win in my age group one of these days. The Crazy Legs race landed me in the newspaper for my place/age - but I didn't win or anything like that. But I was in the paper. And my therapist saw it. So that's pretty cool. Then I was interviewed on the square while I was walking Scouters last week. Turned out, I was being interviewed by a national dude from Fox News! [BLAH]. But you can see my famous clip here.

Feel free to quote me or refer to my statement when writing speeches, discussing the Wisconsin recall, etc. [joke] Now, I am no trail blazer or anything, but what can I say? I mean, it wasn't exactly the most prestigious new station to be aired on. But it was national. Actually, it was sort of like going onto a tv version of the "National Enquirer."

In other news - I have just given up my independence, housing situation and car. After four years in my building off the square, I am moving in with my tattoo boy on the square and I traded in my car for a sedan. I had a mini panic attack on the way to Zimbrick Audi yesterday. Thought to myself: "Oh My God - I am NEVER going to live alone again! I just gave up my independence! I am now getting rid of the only thing that feels like it's mine - my car! What the hell am I doing?" But, once I drove off in the car I was all better. And safer. So, if I sound like an anxious wreck - well, it is genetic a disorder that I have.
Tattoo boy and I had such a hard time finding a place to live. Would you believe me when I tell you that condo rentals are like New York City real estate? Honest to god. When I put the word out about subletting my condo, I had literally and I am not exaggerating here - 10 emails in 12 hours.It was insane. Here is a sample of one of the zillions of e-mails I received about my condo: [Aren't we cute in this photo? We're on Lake Mendota and that's my sister, Leslie's hand-me-down bikini I am wearing]

Hi Janie, I have come up with quite a few questions, here they are... 1. is there a floor plan of the unit with dimensions I could see?
2. what floor is the unit on?
3. what does the unit look out onto?
4. does the unit have a balcony?
5. what are the types of flooring in the unit?
6. if there is carpeting, will it be professionally cleaned upon moving in?
7. in general, what is the cleaning process before i would move in ?
8. I know you mentioned subleasing and want to clarify that I can sign a lease from june 2012 to june 2013?
9. what additional fees will I be paying such as electric, sewer, water, trash, cable/internet, etc.?
10. Since this is owned, are there any association fees i will have to be paying?
11. are small dogs allowed? if so is there a fee?
12. is there a maintenance crew on site?
13. does the building offer any green space or rooftop deck?
14. is there guest parking available? cost?
15. since you have lived in the unit have you experienced any troubles with the owner/landlord or building? hope this is not too many questions, I just want to make sure I cover everything! As for seeing the unit, I am currently living in Milwaukee and do not have plans to come to madison until I have some new hire appointments April 20th. If your answers suit my needs and you would like to have a lease signed before that date, I can try to arrange time to come to madison.

Thanks so much,

Here is my response:

Hi Sarah,

Sorry but I just rented it. Good luck!

Honest to god - you can't waste your time asking all of these questions! By the time you hit "send," the opportunity is G-O-N-E! No joke. And also - why do people e-mail so much? If you really want to know something, pick up the phone and dial the number. Until next time.

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