Baby Boom

Wow! Long time, no talk, people.

I feel so lucky because I had the best summer ever. I just took Madison in and didn't take it for granted.

One Saturday, I was about to go boating and I had a little baby on my hip. "My sister is due any day," I told the proud parents. And just then, I received a text that my sister was in labor.

So, I went to meet the baby. And we talked a lot. Not the baby and me. We didn't talk at all. In fact, he just did a whole lot of baby things that I am sure I did, too. And Janie [that's me] thought more and more about the kid thing. I am not a natural with these newborns. I like the toddler age. That looks fun. But what happens to a couple during this time scares me terribly. I talked with my brother-in-law and sister. A lot.

And here is what we talked about: Vasectomy? Tubal Ligation? Which? So - something needs to happen to prevent the procreation when a couple is done reproducing. Correct? What is more invasive? One of them needs to do something. A woman cannot take birth control hormones forever. It's not healthy. The rhythm method results in more kids. So does the "pull-out" method. And my understanding is that most couples who have several children end up with abstinence anyway. So - why the heck have kids if you don't feel like that was a goal in life? [They did not tell me this, I have just read a ton on the topic]. No exploitation, here!

I still feel like at forty, if I can manage to have one, I would. But I am not going to lie here. I hate liars, anyway. I am not afraid to die. I am not afraid of a lot of things. I am terrified of child birth. I am perfectly happy and proud to show off my ten year old golden retriever. I have raised her. Yeah - she's wild and all. But, I have had her since she was a pup. I don't need to "squeeze something the size of a watermelon out of something the size of a lemon."

Besides, how would I give up my pinot grigio for nine months? Life is too good without kids. Besides, we have a horrible overpopulation.