Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Put Yourself Out There

This week, I have been asked by three or four different people how I met my current boyfriend. Have you ever noticed that people get very giddy telling that story? Ask someone today. They will have this big smile on their face as they relive the tale. I can tell you a ton of people I know still smile cheek-to-cheek when asked to retell the moment they met their significant other. (Unless they have been married for 25 years. In which case, there is no grinning at all).

And I realized that I have always had a good story to share when asked this question. It was never a dull, "We met at a bar" or.... "we met on match.com..." Not that there is anything wrong with these things. Because there isn't. I have a knack for putting myself out there and I think it has something to do with my ability to talk to absolutely anyone.

Take my first long relationship after I graduated college. We met at the dog park. We continued to run into each other there on the weekends and finally exchanged information. I wasn't going to the dog park to find a man. But I was putting myself out there, regardless. As I would wherever I went (including the grocery or running path - no joke). I just always kept my eyes open.

My current situation is similar. Sort of. After meeting on King Street, we ran into each other two more times that week. After exchanging numbers, we got together a few days later. Was I putting myself out there on King Street? No, actually. But I wasn't acting like I was unavailable, either. Or that I was committed to someone else. Or that I was not interested in men. I don't know what vibe I gave off. Because truthfully, he told me that we danced and I got "real low on the dance floor" with him and he tried to talk to me and I was "a mute." I have absolutely no recollection of either a) dancing with him OR b) him trying to talk with me. He is the "mute" and I never stop flapping my gums. I remember that the night was wild and I was newly single and free - not interested in anyone, really. Just letting whoever came my way know that I was, in fact, single.

So - this vibe of being "available" comes off. And he said he wasn't interested in me. And I wasn't interested in him. But somehow, I was letting him know I was putting myself out there. This is easy.

None of this came easy to me before. I have progressed a lot in this category. And a year ago, I started writing this book on how to date an ass hole. And then I stopped taking my own advice and ended up in this relationship after swearing off committed relationships.

I have even taken friends out, saying, "let me get you a man..." or, "I'll take care of your dry spell for you."

I have never had to get fixed up because I am always fixing myself up. Or, I am fixing up everyone around me. I love to match make. So, put yourself out there and let people know you are on the "hunt." Wherever you go, seek out a person. Find out their history. Are they single? If so, why? (This is very, very important. I have recently had to do my own personal investigation because my boyfriend was being too private for my liking. He is not very happy that my "new" friend, who lives with his ex girlfriend, invited me to his birthday dinner last week.........) On another note, always look and feel good about yourself. You can't feel good if you feel like you don't look good. Even when I go across the street for a bottle of wine, I try to dress nicely so I can carry myself with dignity.

After all, you never know where that special someone is. Whether they are in the line at the movies or a hiking trail, your future relationship may be right in front of you tomorrow. Always be prepared and let them know you are available. And don't give up. They are out there.

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