Take My Advice

Occasionally, I like to point out what facebook was created for. The commencement of facebook and what it has become are very different.

And I am sure I am being completely insensitive when I say that the child updates/profile pictures are - well..... not what Zuckerberg had intended facebook to entail when it was created. I know, I know, I have photos of my dog on there.

Here's the thing. I am a child of the 1980s. If I knew that my parents had blasted photos of me and funny quotes that are currently sitting out there in cyber world, I think I would be weirded out by it.

So this is why I have decided to stop putting up photos on facebook of the children. Not mine. I have none. But of other people's children. Because I feel like I am exploiting them.

And on a totally separate note, I want to say that last year for work, we were asked to give our new year's resolutions I succeeded in mine. Yes - I vowed to stop carrying three bags and a coffee cup to work and it worked all year! Yes!!

Also - since I like to give unsolicited advice out here and never get much feedback, have any of you stopped using so much water? Started exercising? Ended a relationship? or simply started some therapy?

It completely baffles me why more people don't take better care of themselves. How can people continue to do nothing for exercise and eat garbage while watching reality television all day long? The perks of exercise are so AMAZINGLY incredible which INCLUDE:

1) Better mood
2) More energy

Hello?!

Oh! Did I mention looking good? Skinny waist!And you will skip an avocado because it is fattening and eat fried cheese curds?? What is that all about?

And what's the deal with marrying your first true love? Do you really think thirty years down the road, you aren't going to have changed and wondered what it would be like to live alone? Or date someone else? What is that all about?

Oh - and see that photo I have here with the non-exploited child? Yeah, with the Christmassy background? Yeah, that's right. Because I am agnostic, I guess.

I would also like to admit that I complain a lot that Madison is not diverse but don't do anything about it [Like a typical American]. I was thrilled to have attended a dinner party the other night that included four foreigners. And they were not all caucasian. I am making progress.

Lastly, I will share with you that my greatest fears are losing my dog and falling on the ice and not being able to run. Any suggestions?

Have a great day!

'Tis the Night Before the Weekend

This week was not as exciting as last week. Besides inhaling a piece of granola for the second time and "choking" [Ok - It really wasn't choking], I didn't do anything out of the ordinary.

This "Spacer Dog Guy Owner" from the dog park was texting me to get together. Here is how it went:




SDG: [That's for Spacer Dog Guy]"Hey Janie! What are you up to this weekend?"

JGW: [That's for Janie G Winston] "Oh - I think a bunch of us are going to Plan B." [Then thinking to myself, "Is this dude wanting to hang out one-on-one or what? I said I had a group...."]

SDG: [A few days later] Hey Janie! How was your weekend?

JGW: [24 hours later] Good. You?

SDG: Great. I visited family, etc, etc. Play by play. [I don't know you but I am going to tell you all about my wknd] You want to meet for lunch one day this week?

[JGW is thinking - "This is so random! I met him like one time! Do I have some sign on me that says I am looking for lots of dates or what?" I mean, he is cute and all]

So, I am having a drink with my friend and I am telling her about this. How innocent are you people? The advice that I didn't take that was offered to me was:

"He's probably looking to meet new people since he is relatively new in Madison." And I am like, "He wants to go on a date with me."

So, here was my response to him:

"You mean like a date? Because I sorta got a man...."

And forty-eight hours later, realizing I am going to see SDG again really soon [afterall, this is Madison and we go to the same dog park], it occurs to me that I better make sure I didn't offend him.

JGW: Sorry if that was rude.... I just didn't want to lead you on and I am very blunt.

SDG: It wasn't rude. It was just letting me know.

Aha! I knew it! So, the moral of the story is to be forward, people and also I would have to say that the dog park is a good place to meet people. So, make sure you look hot at the park.

And here is my dad several days after I broke up with my former "Mr. Right Now:"

Dad: [That stands for Dad] So, are you making any friends?

JGW: [Thinking to myself, I have a zillion friends. Why is he asking me this?] Oh! You mean like am I dating?

Dad: Yes.

JGW: C'mon just say it! I am having fun. I don't think I really need more friends, per se.

And then came Tattoo Boy....

Here is me in therapy:

JGW: So, I am already talking to this new guy. And you know, I worry because I don't believe in marriage. And it makes me a little nervous.

Therapist: Well, do you get really intense in the beginning?

JGW: Yes.

Therapist: Ok. Well since you are aware of that, you need to be cautious of that.

JGW: Ok. I am fine with that.

And so, I am going home with him this weekend.... [Afterall, it's been at least - what - a few weeks since we started hanging out?]

Other than that, boating was a success this past weekend. We spent the day on Lake Mendota, through the locks to Monona. Very fun times. I think the mad dash from the hair color appointment to prevent aging to the Union to hop on the boat was a success. [I had about 20 minutes notice]. But I packed my bikini to my hair appointment. Just in case.

Sadly, summer will be over in about one month. I am ok with this. Soon, I will be cross country skiing over the lake. And the Halloween party I have been talking about will have taken place. I even had a dream the other night that I was picking out my costume.

Stay tuned for more fun summer adventures.

The Past Week

This summer has been far from dull. After I got all into boating, and losing a flip flop and my keys in the elevator shaft, I have now seen a dead body and had a small (but not serious) injury.

Here's the run down. I befriended a Forensic Pathologist who mentioned he was on his way to an autopsy. I wanted to watch. So, I got to see a body being autopsied. But I feel really bad for the situation so I am not going to say anything else about it. Except that it was more than I imagined. That and if you decide to have a cup of coffee at EVP in the VA hospital, just know you're feet away from dead bodies in a cooler.

I then had an ultimate weekend of partying it up in Mad-town with my first visitor! My cousin stayed with me and we had a ton of fun including running into my ex-boyfriend at a bar ["Hello!" if you are reading this!] and an old "wayward fling" at the same time ["Hello if you are reading this!] who approached me as I was having a "laughing attack" from all the hype at 1:30 in the morning. My boat captain who was out for the fun decided to bail on us and aborted our boating plans on Sunday which was disheartening.

I have now been hanging out with tattoo boy [because, you know, I was completely single for one month and one day - entirely too long], who agrees to randomly hang out with all my "new friends" who I meet when I am out and about.

Do you ever notice in Madison how friendly everyone is? I have this facebook policy that I have to stay under 200 friends at all times, but I keep on expanding my social circle here, so I am constantly at 199 friends. [By the way, if you try to find me on facebook, I am really hidden].

And while we were out boating a few weekends ago, everyone asked me how I knew the captain and I told them "We met at a Starbucks on State Street two years ago." And then I realized how weird that sounds. And today I had lunch with someone I met on the Barriques patio. And when you are out drinking, you tend to become friendly with people on the patio and then the next thing you know, there are four of you, two guys and two girls and you look like two couples [even though none of you know each other], and that's just how I roll. And tattoo boy totally goes along with this. I think in the last two weeks, we have sat with random strangers at bar tables 50% of the time like we are on some double date. Do you know what I am talking about? It's a Madison thing.

Take last night, for example. Well - let's start with my injury. Walking the old dog around the square, she smelled something and took off and took me down to the ground with a hard hitting of the head. Mortified and in pain, a cute man offered to help me in which my friend said I should have invited him to come over because she was with me and she thought he was cute. My clothes were dirty [she pulled me down by a tree on a small tree lawn], my ass hurt and I was worried about a concussion, so I decided that I should go to Graze and have five glasses of pinot grigio.

Meanwhile, tattoo boy was texting me, so I told him he should probably wake me up every two hours during the night to make sure I didn't have a concussion - doctor's orders.

So, hanging out at Graze, Mr.Divorcee comes over to tell me his problems [I think I may have asked him a question or two] and found out that he had a vasectomy and his ex has a personality disorder. Since my new hairdresser likes Graze [after all, I met her there - sort of], I invited her to meet me there and the next thing I know, we are seated at a table with Tattoo boy, hairdresser and vasectomied/divorcee - like we are all good friends.

I would like to announce that I finally bought a new camera which was so ridiculously overdue. Thanks to the several glasses of pinot grigio I had last Monday night, I spent over $300 on silent auction items that I won. I also have a $200 to Williams Sonoma so I can go shopping for the Halloween party I am throwing this year that I haven't stopped talking about on a daily basis.

On that note - time to go get walked by the D-O-G!

Getting "Unstuck"

Recently, I was having a drink with a friend who I was just getting to know. They told me that they are in a relationship that they are starting to question, and have explored intimacy with other women, and they are really enjoying it. In other words, my friend (I'll call him Patrick), is cheating.

He started to ask me my story, and how I ended up in Madison. I told him I had been flirting with the idea of moving to Madison for some time. All sorts of things can hold you down from such a life change: family, money, job, marriage, relationship, need I say more? Without divulging too much information here, let me just say that I knew I had to leave Cleveland.

I am writing this post because people continue to ask me how I was "brave enough" to just "up and leave." It's funny because I don't see myself as being brave at all. It has always been in my nature to do what I want. Isn't that what our generation is about?

Even yesterday, a young girl told me that she and her boyfriend of five years are "taking a break," because they are currently in different countries, but that she is scared to break up with him. She asked for my advice.

Now, I am not an expert on this. All I can tell you is that when you start to question your relationship, you MUST move on. Who wants to spend the rest of their life second guessing their partnership? It is absolutely ridiculous. I cannot believe how many people have divulged information about their "questionable" relationships to me, since I have moved here. They tell me all sorts of things such as:

Their comment:
"I cheated on her, and it was fun. I would like to do it again."

My response:
"If you liked it, it sounds like you are ready to be single again. You can feel free to do it as much as you want, when you are single."

Their comment:
"I love him, but I like the attention I get when I go out with my friends."

My response:
(see above).

Their comment:
"I am not sure I want to spend the rest of my life with him."

My response:
"Do you really think that that feeling is going to go away? If you are wondering that in your 20s, then maybe he is not the one to spend the rest of your life with..."

Unfortunately, I do feel that these people feel the need to meet the old fashioned expectations of settling down. But life is too darn short for that.

Let me get back to my friend, Patrick for a moment. I told him that I thought he was stuck in this boring relationship, and that he simply needed to end it. He told me that he knew that, but he just couldn't do it. He said it would be too painful, and too hard. This is all true. It will be. I don't disagree with him. However, don't you think that the rest of his life will be pretty hard if he doesn't break up with his girlfriend?

As people say, time heals all wounds. Making the decision to break-up with someone after a long relationship is not an overnight thing. But if you are uncertain, and feeling what my friends have expressed to me, then imagine how you feel once you end it. You may feel stuck, and yes, breaking up is awful. It is the death of a relationship. In my 28 years, my break-ups were up there with my parent's separation, and the loss of my grandparents, but you do get over these things, and you grow, and you learn, and, you HAVE FUN!! Do all those things you are dreaming of. If you are eyeing men at a bar, go for it! But, please, get out of your relationship first!

I know it's not that easy. I do know that. It's going to hurt. But, I want you to know that you can do it. This is for all of my friends who are "stuck." When in doubt, get out.