Emotional Movies

Three years ago, I went to see the "Sex and the City" movie with my loving sisters and one (of two) brother-in-law.

I love movies. I love seeing them and I love talking about them with friends. I feel like you can have some really great movie conversations. Mainly, I like to discuss feelings which comes out in these discussions. I will ask questions such as:

"Did you cry?"
"Did you watch it alone? Did it make you lonely for someone?"
"Was it depressing?"
"You need to see "X" because it will make you laugh out loud."

So when it really comes down to it, I am all about setting my emotions up for something when I see a movie. I have to be in the right mood or place to see something sad/heartfelt/funny/cheesy, etc.

The other thing about movies is that I have to be comfortable letting myself cry. And sometimes I am really in the mood for crying and other times I refuse to let myself do it. And crying can feel really, really good. And really therapeutic a lot of the time. So once the tears are allowed, they usually don't stop.

I have not let myself cry during a movie in a really long time.

But back when I went to see "Sex and the City," I got really teary eyed in that last scene. There is nothing significant about it to the average person. At the time, I was living in Cleveland, thinking about moving to Madison. Miranda, Carrie, Samantha and Charlotte all walk down the street together. And they look so happy. So happy to be united. And here I was, watching it with two of my closest friends (even if they are my sisters) and it felt so good to be with them. But I was really, really missing my girlfriend time with all of my girlfriends. And it made me cry a little. I'll never forget that feeling because of my extraordinary memory.

So now that I am in Madison and have made a lot of good girlfriends, it has felt so good to be able to walk down the street like the gals from the movie. And know that I have a nice community here of friends. Where I can wake up in the early morning and have text messages awaiting to meet for breakfast or dog parking or whatever. It just feels so good.

An Extraordinary Memory

I have an exceptional memory. I have always been told that I "scare" people with this unusual trait. If you want to call it one.

I have read about people who have these types of memories. It's a blessing and a curse. There are a handful of people out there who "remember every day of their life." While I can't say my memory is that good - it is very good.

I can pretty much tell you what I was wearing or what year or what day of the week an event occured. It's a blessing because it is extremely helpful in the business world. It is a curse because imagine all of the sadness in life. And how crystal clear it remains in your mind.

I think about terrible events that happened on a daily basis. Not a day goes by when I don't think about deceased relatives/friends and reflecting on that news. Where I was - what day of the week it occured, who I was with, what I was wearing. I am not exaggerating when I say that. Supposedly humans have 2,000 - 3,000 thoughts a day. I would be curious to participate in a study for this and see how this is measured. While this may be the case, I would say 20 - 30 of my thoughts are of sad memories.

As I have grown, I feel that there is a lot of joy in life. I work in a health care setting. I see sorrow. I have plenty of friends who only have one parent who is alive. I feel lucky in that sense. Sometimes, I feel lucky that we have little children in my family, too. After walking out of the Children's hospital. It's a blessing that way.

While this memory may be haunting and hard, it helps me to stay happy about the joy in life.

I dare you to challenge me about what you were wearing when we met or what year a movie came out or what day of the week something happened. Because I can tell you that. It's a phenomenon. One that I am not always comfortable sharing with people. And if you think I don't often look back and think about when I heard the news that your parent was diagnosed with cancer, or that your friend was in a horrible accident, think again. Because I am thinking of you each day.